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Man that was cold! |
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| By Bowchickawowow | 2010-03-31 18:47:43 |
| Ever since I was little I knew I was different. I could see, hear and imagine things that other people could not. I continued with that gift until I started into my teens. I always knew that there was something underneath this vale that seem to surpass all understanding. That is when all hell broke loose. Other then the birth of my 3 sons that was about the only thing in my life that went well. Molested from 9-13 by my step father. Raped when I was 16. Lost my true love when I was 18. Long story short I was raised by my mother and my father never really took an interest in my sons or my life for that matter. I quite talking to my dad with the affirmation if he didn't want to be a part of my life then fine, I didn't want to be a part of his life either. We didn't talk for years. Not even when my grandfather (his dad) passed away leaving him parentless. Not even when I found out from my Aunt that he was diagnosed with Alzheimer. In fact my response was "Humphf, well see he doesn't want to remember me.. now he finally got his wish" As I said I always knew this was my path (wiccan) even as a child. But was never shown. So I went through life searching for answers and always questioning and never quite finding that perfect fit to a path. A path I could walk no matter how difficult and never get tired of walking it. As a child I visualized quite well. Even going through my tremulousness teen years. I heard my spirit guides everyday in those visualizations. (they kept me company especially being an only child) So when I finally decided to dedicate my life to Wicca I thought it would come back all easy. (How could I have been so wrong) Until last night. I was bathing and trying to meditate and cleanse. After months of trying to contact my spirit guides asking them to come and not getting a response they came back and told me something I did not want to hear. When I asked them why they would not come back so easily as they once did they told me "You know why... and you know what you must do" I realized that I choice this life...for what reason I have no idea (that is why I am walking this path).... but |
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