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Inheritant Witch |
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| By ShadowTalon | 2011-10-17 07:02:33 |
| Just a little bit about me. I haven't really posted a lot of blogs. Never really had to. But it's 1:30 in the morning and I can't sleep so I figure I'll write something. Everybody else seems to be opening up so I figure I'll write something like that. A lot of people feel alone. I'm one of those people that have so many little pieces to my life that I can relate to a bunch of you. You aren't alone. Yes, this will be in a couple different blogs... This first one is about how I kinda found my path. I don't have every piece of it on the map, so to speak, but I can see the main rode with little trails and streets that will lead to many other things that I may include i my personal journey. As everything does in life, it all started when I was little. My family, especially my mom, were very into the middle ages. Dragons, wizards and all that jazz. Many of moms books had all these. She even collected dragon things. And frogs. And gorillas. She's odd but I love her. Now most of what I was exposed to as a child, I didn't understand. What child ever really does? Why did the knight kill the dragon? Why do the Skexcies hate the Gelflings? I even remember asking my mom, "What if the Gelflings are really what our ancestors looked like? What If the movies we see now are really bits of history that was lost but a spirit gave it back by putting it in the mind of the writer guy?" (Yes, I really thought that at the age of 5. I also used to wonder if we were held in some alien tank somewhere unconcious and just living out our memories in dreams) I didn't understand a whole lot and wondered about the wierdest things. My mom always told me and my little brother "If you believe in something with all you heart, it's real, somewhere in the world." Sometimes I would read things in books, however fictional or not, and would know at least part of it was real.... When I was little, I wanted to be a witch for EVERY halloween. I didn't think them evil or otherwise. I just wanted to be a witch. I remember being a witch numerous times, a princess, a pink power ranger (the ORIGINAL power rangers, back when they were awesome) and a cowgirl. Mom picked those ones..... But no, always wanted to be a witch. We moved to Alaska in 2000. First time I ever had snow during halloween. I was not a happy camper. I missed the piles of leaves and the jack-o-lantern trash bags we raked them into. Not a whole lot of leaves in Valdez but In Fairbanks (where I live now for college) LEAVES. EVERYWHERE!!!!! I love it. But yeah, we moved up an halloween sucked. Pumpkins and decorations were vastly overpriced because of the cost of shipping, the amount of things available for the holiday dwindled every year, much to my disapointment, and less and less people celebrated it. This little tid bit I'm about to give you may or may not have anything to do with it but in Valdez, a population of a little less than 4,000, there are 28 churches. Twenty-friggin-eight. I've been to the Mormon, Catholic, Baptist, The Nazerine and the Lutherin churches. Only reason being because I have friends who attend these places and I happened to spend the night on a saturday. I didn't become a witch to spite them or tick any body off. It wasn't in rebellion. I just strongly disagree with aspects of their teachings... And every fun, outside of school event, like lock-ins and mini concerts and all that jazz? I go to them cauz of the games and doing something fun with my friends. I've been to nearly every one of them and guess what? At every single one, there's a friggin Christian preaching at me. Every time. Why? Because the churches fund everything. I have met wiccans while living in Valdez, thank goodness. Not to bash anybody but I was seriously tired of people handing me bibles, missionaries knocking on my door and this one girl at school telling me I was going to burn in hell. Any way, two of our sisters I actually ended up working with. One was my manager and another one worked in a different department. There were a couple people in town I also knew to be wiccan but we all kept quiet. The last thing we need is another witch hunt. I really don't mean to bash, but I seriously have a bad feeling it's coming because people are so damn ignorant. Even my room mate in college is Christian. She is accepting that I am a witch but won't really go out of her way to educate herself on other peoples beliefs. I'm okay with that as long as neither of us are uncomfortable. Religion does come up in our conversations sometimes but thankfully never become arguments. I know I'm kinda going off the trail of how I found my path, skipping a couple chapters to how I am walking the path in society but bear with me. Luckily, I have been blessed with friends who don't care what religion we are. My mom, and my brother converted to Lutheren (mom for her boyfriend-fience, and Mav for his girlfriend, who is also a friend of mine), One of my second families is mormon, My boyfriend, his family and our other second family are Jewish and a few other friends and another extended family I believe are some branch of Christian and they all accept me for who and what I am. My ex, not so much but that's another story with a little more recently realised insult. But they all accepted me. One of my other moms actually offered to but me a bible for my birthday...I wasn't sure if I should've been insulted or not. I asked her if she knew I'm wiccan, I was sure I told her. She said she knew all along but that she had also been wiccan once but found god again. Yeah I wasn't sure what to tell her. She can if she wants to, I'm sure I can use it for something. My brother has the mormon bible I found in my room. *shrug* I am learning a bit about Judeism and I can't say I don't enjoy learning about it. It's actually very intriguing. I like learning about different religions, I just hate having it thrown at me and shoved down my throat. Is that how I found my path? Well I did say my mom was CONVERTED Lutharen, right? Did she shove wiccan down my throat? No. I found it on my own. Sure I did the typical teenager thing and looked up spells but I never practiced any of them. Didn't feel I had the right to. I read a little mythology, the rede and this and that. Then it hit me. This is me. Or mostly me, anyway. This feels right to me. I actually told my mom about it. She didn't frown or disaprove. She just said that I am becoming more and more like her and her three sisters all the time. Which is funny cause about a year before I came out of the broom closet to my mom, I had a dream that my mom, her mom and my aunts were all in my yard at night with me. It was a full moon out and they all had on black cloaks. They gave me this little pendant necklace that I recalled also receiving in a previous dream from a boy, and stood in a circle around me. All five of them. (1 grandma, 1 mom, 3 aunts = 5. sometimes this confuses people so that's why i put this here) I don't remember them saying anything. I only remember beginning to float up into the sky toward the moon. Interesting, ne? But yeah I told her that I am a wiccan/witch (I know there is a difference. I tell people I'm a witch but most of my principle are based of wicca). She started telling me about her practices of white Necronomicon in high school. Most people I tell this to say it doesn't egsist. That Necronomicon is purely negative. Obviously you (speaking to the people who say this) aren't the person who stole this book from my mothers locker nor found your own copy to read so shut it. I haven't read the book myself either because it's damn hard to find. Any way, she goes on about it and all that fun stuff up to the part when it was stolen. We don't know by whom or why. My grandmother calls up a week later and my mom talks to her for a bit. I'm guessing mom told her about my chosen path because she hands me the phone to talk to Mimi (what we call my grandmother. She doesn't like to be called grandma cause it makes her feel old hahaha) and Mimi congratulates me on finding my path. The very path she walks herself.( I remember visitig her one summer and looking at her moon and star earrings she had tucked away. I couldn't stop looking at them. I asked her if i could have them when she passes, to which she laughed and said I'd have to fight Kayleigh, my cousin, for the jewelery in the bag if I wanted them) She tells me about a bunch of books she has that I could read and of a little occult shop in Denver (where she lives) and if i want a subscription to their magazine. How could I turn this down? I had just learned that I am an inheritant witch. All on my own. I was never pressured, never really exposed to any one religion, never even told my mom and grandma were witches and to top it all off, my aunts had practiced too! I don't get to talk to them much so I don't know what branches they practiced. But it was an amazing feeling. I'm not an odd duck in my family. I had found who I had been my whole life. I had found a piece of myself. Now If only I wasn't energy blind, finding the rest would be a whole lot easier..... (and in case you are all wondering, it is now 2:55 in the morning. I'm naturally nocturnal. I apologize if there are words missing the 'n' in them. the key doesn't seem to want to work half the time) |
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