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being me is hard |
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| By dreaming_sunray | 2012-01-26 16:08:14 |
| im wolf in a pack of cyotes. no one actually knows me. cause no one bothers to. sure, i like being me. but its like a chore. people only know half of wat i really am. yh, thts right, WAT. im a freak. im not normal, im not like those girls at school who r cheerleaders, or wear mini skirts. and i dont get asked out alot. im dating a guy, and im new to it. and im alot like an empath. i think about other peoples feeling. so even how much perverted he is, i couldnt break up with him. and i even got asked out today by another guy. i felt bad saying no so i told his friend to say it. even then i felt bad! and im running away from myself. and i honestly dont wanna get into tht. and one more thing, im holding myself in. whenever i close my eyes i see myself in a cage. a confident girl banging on the bars and pulling on them. i looked to cool. i looked popular. and i seemed to know wat was going on in my trapped self. i had the man i always wanted. the guy i always like. i became athletic. i was loved. there was no drama. my parents let me do wat i wanted! i had everything. i was even more popular than the top girl at school! my heart races. i even had a bass guitar on me. i hit my guitar along the bars and screamed. i open my eyes and cry. im even having problems tht arent normal for me! i was born with the tiniest bit of dylexia. my mom didnt let me go to kindergarden till i was 5. cause she taught me to overcome it. i always did a spell to help with a productive school day. now i read and read and read! and i loved it! well, i USE to. my dylexia is coming back. slowly. i can barely read for so long. i even had trouble typing this. i erased so many things. i wake up every morning TERRIFIED i have to read in class. im freak and thts tht. im running away from myself. and if u think u have problems, think about how miserable i am. maybe ull feel better. | |
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