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well its going on 2 years..... |
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| By reneeruth | 2009-10-10 22:01:17 |
| to day is the day my grandmother pass,i miss her sooo much. some times i think how things would be if she was still here. i know she would love all over Aidan...i was really close to her. i could always talk to her about things i couldn't ever say to my mom.and i know that is hard to believe because me&my are close...i hate to think how my dad is doing today....he just became dead with grandma pass.....i worry sometimes. i think my dad is going to die of loneliness.im up i just cant sleep....i keep thinking about how i felt when i saw her in a box. i couldn't stand it!!! and my mom and dad kept pushing me to her....i know they was just trying to help.but i couldn't get close....i had to get out of the room i was crying so bad....and on the way down there i was trying to prepare my self. but i guest there was really no way.my grandma was the first one i lost that i really care about.so it was a real eye opener to me...it reminder me that we are born.....and we live....and then we die.....so as i sat out side the room i began to pray to Hecate... asking her to give me the will to face my own darkness,seeing my grandma dead! so after that i went to see her...and what i saw was not my grandma....she looked nothing like when i last saw her......the sickness really did a number to her body her skin was all blue...who ever did the make up really suck!!!!! one side of her face was all messed up.as i was looking at her.i was saying to my self this isnt Faye your beloved grand this is just her shell....just a shell that she doesn't need anymore.....so i stop looking at body and began to look around the room to see if i can see her....just hanging around...and then i saw green lights from where her body was...i follow them with eyes in the room...she when to my dad. he was sitting there crying.and i was able to make out an arm that when around him like she was hugging him, then i some thing just came over me. i had to get my mom and go to the restroom. she know saw grandma...she only stay for 10 to 15 min.s it felt really good seeing them lights.some times i wish i can see them again. me&her was alot alike...even if just was a Sunday school teacher but she was more open.because she would see things two. and so would my aunt Pam. aunt Pam told me that grand ma said we was kinder spirits (im sure i spelled that wrong)daddy doesn't know that part about grandma...he would think she was going mad or the devil was after her like he told me.yeah i tried to talk to him about what i see.never again....but i talk to grandma. and she told me story's....and told me never to tell papa and daddy....i really wish her was here.................... | |
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