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i need some seriuos help please!!
Posted by redtigerlotus on 2010-03-19 10:35:01 |
| well i will start from the begining so there is a better understanding of it.i have been engaged to a guy for over two years now.everything used to be really good but here lately its taking a turn for the worse.i work 40 plus hours a week,he has no job.i come home and cook supper for him and help clean the house(keep in mind he stays home all day)we have been fighting alot and every fight we get into its always my fault no matter what(even when he is the one to start the fight)by the time its over with i am the one sitting alone in the shadows crying.i have never been an emotional person my whole life but this guy is changing me.i am not the fun loving outgoing person i used to be.i do nothing but go to work and home ofr him i gave up all my friends and everyone i ever knew for him but yet i am such a bad person.here lately the thought of sucide has crossed my mind to many times to count,and what scares me i have never been this way.i try to tell him that i am becoming sucidal and he tells me that i am stupid.no matter how hard or long i cry he still does the same hurtful stuff that i wont get into over and over again.i am starting to fear that i may hurt myself or someone else and i am not that way i need help bad.i thought about doing some spells to make him reliaze what he is doing to me and some healing spells for my soul but i dont feel my head is right.as a matter of fact i had a dream that meant i will lose my head to an unworthy person that i have let in my heart.i need some good energy sent to me or some spells worked in my favor.i am kinda of scared to do them myself because my energy is off.if anyone has any suggestions or can help in anyway please let me know.i am walking alone in the shadows here and i have no one to talk to our to help me out i am completly alone please help |
| Posted by AlmostWitch137 on 2010-03-19 10:56:58 |
| yeeeaaa this one seems rather obvious. apparently he's not the guy for you. leave. simple. end. |
| Posted by redtigerlotus on 2010-03-19 11:51:07 |
| see it seems like it is that easy but it isnt.he trys to pull that i will kill myself if you do stuff with me.i am trying to make leaving him the last option i just want him to reliaze what he is doing to me and himself and i need some help fixing my soul.i wish it was just as simple as to leave but its done gone to far for that |
| Posted by HydroNymph on 2010-03-19 12:40:23 |
| Sweety I grew up in a home with parents like that and I've been in relationships like that. You can't change him you can't change the situation and if kids happen they'll suffer for it too. Listen to almost and run |
| Posted by redtigerlotus on 2010-03-19 13:03:53 |
| everyone keeps telling me that and it seems like the best way and i know if i leave now it will save myself some heart ach but everytime i put my hand on the door something keeps me from opening like something is holding me back.i have already told him i am going to start taking my tears and turning them into anger and when that happens he better be worried.the thing is my tears are already changing and i am getting my fill.i have just never been the type to run so i dont know if it is habit or what just so hard |
| Posted by AlmostWitch137 on 2010-03-19 14:12:57 |
| so....instead of being sad your going to get mad....and you think thats going to solve the situation. lmao. seriously? that something holding you back? is fear. fear of being alone, fear of the future. get over it. do yourself a favour. and hey MAYYYBBEEE if everybody around you is telling you? you should cock an ear and bloody listen. |
| Posted by redtigerlotus on 2010-03-19 14:29:33 |
| the only reason i say i would turn it in to anger is bc that is how i deal with it.instead of being sad all the time and crying and making myself think these horrible things i make myself angry and remeber all the bad things he dun it kind of helps me get threw it without hurting myself.i know i should listen and i know i am stubborn i am just stuck between a rock and a hard place right now.hey we have all been there before and no matter how many times someone tells u to leave u stay i guess you just have to learn the lesson on ur own |
| Posted by AlmostWitch137 on 2010-03-19 14:54:12 |
| well then why the hell are you asking people for advice, if you KNOW what to do, but you have to do it on your own time to learn the lesson? there isnt anything anybody here can tell you to help you according to you. |
| Posted by redtigerlotus on 2010-03-19 16:13:48 |
| you dont have to be so critical it doesnt help.it doesnt hurt to have peoples advice from an outside source.hey i think we have all been in this situation before.did you ever listen when ur mom told u not to smoke or dont do this or dont do that no we all had to learn on our own.i just figured some of my fellow people maybe able to give me some healty advice without jumping on me like i am some kid.was just asking for some advice if you didnt like the situation then dont answer it.i dont need even more people ridcualing me think i have had enough hurt |
| Posted by redtigerlotus on 2010-03-19 16:14:56 |
| thanks hydro |
| Posted by redtigerlotus on 2010-03-19 16:16:37 |
| if anyone has got any spells for healing and that could help me clear my head would be much appreicated |
| Posted by Raito9 on 2010-03-19 22:29:27 |
| I'll say it now. I've never been in a long relationship. But, I've seen relationships like yours. People are crazy, so these realtionships are more common than you'd think. Not that it's a good thing, they just aren't anything new. I think ALmost has given the best advice so far. Overcome your fear of being alone and overcome your uncertainty. You just have to push past this otherwise the ropes this guy has wrapped around you will always be there. If this guy pulls this suicide thing on you, it just means he has some insecurities of his own, he also has a fear of being alone and will go to drastic lengths to keep you with him. This can be dangerous for the both of you. If you don't get out now, it could escelate to more harmful actions. This situation could be beyond magic and internet advice, i'm afraid. All we can give you is support. And trust me, your friends here will support you. But I don't think this place is where you should look for answers. There is probably much more to the situation than you can type. And without actually being there, we here can't hope to fully understand it in order to give you sound advice. Good luck, and really look your situation over. I believe that some of life's problems can't be solved with magic. |
| Posted by malachi on 2010-03-19 22:55:47 |
| hey, I know you are in a situation that you feel you need answers. Hoping to get some advice. I think withiut being redundant what people have told you is good advive. Sometimes when things get emotional and like you say your so stressed your not your self other people can see clearly being detached from the situation and looking at things from the outside in, You looked for answers and advive but just didnt get what you wanted.or sounds like it. If you need a solution you eleminate the problem, the path of least resistance. Your boyfriend is the problem. There is absolutely no advive or spell that can help you being in the same situation. You want to feel better , calm relaxed and mended no spell will help. yea a hot bath, some incense and soft music may or not give you you a short rest in the storm. YOU need to get out. You have no kids. Then after you have done what you can do for yourself and have been proactive then maybe spells and counseling or something will deal with whats left. Until you do for yourself, no one can help you untill you seperate yourself from the situation. were noy trying to be critical, yea weve all been told not to do this or that, dont swear. pick up ouir rooms but in comparison were not asking you to stop smoking were asking you to pull the rip cord and deploy your parachute before you hit the ground. were not emotionaly involved and I think we all see the same thing. I feel for you, but ya gotta get out. RUN |
| Posted by Lady_Nightflower on 2010-03-19 23:55:11 |
| I know exactly what your in. It's tough, but yes there's that something that you stay for. My guy at the time was cheating on me with his fellow 'friends', while I was stuck at home, pregnant with his child. I gave up all my friends for him. I cooked for, cleaned for, and provided a roof over his head. It wasn't the babe that kept me, but I thought one day it would all be worth it. He even threatened that if I left HIM, he would kill himself. I'm not going to tell you to leave. A day soon will come that you WILL wake up one mourning and you'll have the stength to kick his butt to the curb! When that comes, you won't want to die. Put your heart into yourself and you'll overcome. I promise. |
| Posted by Lilytatsuko on 2010-03-21 22:25:15 |
| hoy i am sorry but they are right. you don't have to lsten to us but please d not commit sucide, cast a spell, or turn toward hate. sucide is cowardly(trust me i know i have tried it) casting a spell will backfire on your ass so bad it will hurt everyone invoved and hate breeds more hate. My mother was in a situation like this with m birth father. She said that the hardest thing to do was making the decision to leave him. |
| Posted by Lilytatsuko on 2010-03-21 22:34:36 |
| by the way reif you e-mail me your e-mail adress i will give you my number. you can call me day or night if you start to feel so overwhelmed that you consider suicide. my e-mail is lilytatsuko@yahoo.com |
| Posted by FrostVamp on 2010-03-22 09:14:33 |
| Plain and simple, I agree with everyone. From a guy's perspective here it is: "Men are like rocks. A rock is in it's simplest form. You cannot change it. The end." I don't remember where I heard that but it's true! Our Earth takes how many hundreds of years of heat and pressure to change rocks around. You cannot change something that is unwilling to change. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get the heck outta dodge. |
| Posted by redtigerlotus on 2010-03-22 11:41:31 |
| i do agree with everyone i do need to get out for my own health,i just didnt like almost talking to me like i was a kid didnt need it at the time.we are stil together at the moment but i just broke down and told the guy "look i love you but your killing me and i am not sticking around for it"i broke down to him and instead of crying like i always do i just stood my ground and told him if he really loved me he would stop and the next time something happened i was just going to turn around not say a word and walk out and then he will be the one there left wondering what life could have been.like i told him he will not find many woman like me that will work 40 to 50 hours a week plus clean and cook.he broke down and started to cry and i just told him i wasnt given in to his tears.he starts theropy really soon.he offered to start therophy among other things and he begged me to stay just to give him one more chance so i did.i am just a very good hearted person and it gets me into trouble sometimes.see i was put here to help peopel and i think he is one of them.i have done got him off of all whiskey alchol.now he has stopped taking pain pills as well.one way to look at it is if he doesnt change at least i did my part you know what i mean.i really appreciate yall being so helpful and being my support system i do need help.i dont really have anyone to be honest i have family but they dont understand.i will admit i dotn want to be alone but i am cool with being the crazy ole cat lady before i would deal with this anymore lol,by the way lily my email is stevie_golden88@yahoo.com email me anytime.i have turned that anger into reliazation now. i know i am a damn good person and there is not alot of those left in these world now days.anyone who had me would be blessed(not being cocky just building myself back up lol)so am starting to learn that it is not about him anymore its about myself and that is the first step.i will also admit it is a cowards way out thats why i didnt do it.i keep telling myself ur not a pussy stevie pick urself up and over the weekend i did and i am getting back to my old self in ways which i am happy about.i am still playing everything on the safe side and my bags are packed by the door so when it does happen i am already ready.i think thats what made him reliaze i wasnt playing anymore lol.i really do appreciate and will keep everyone updated.if yall would add em to your friends list.yall are very nice and good hearted people jus the kind i need to talk to lol.thank you so much everyone |
| Posted by redtigerlotus on 2010-03-22 11:47:08 |
| thank you everyone so much.yall are such great people blessed be |
| Posted by redtigerlotus on 2010-03-22 11:55:42 |
| my email is stevie_golden88@yahoo.com.thank you lily you are very kind and i got ur email wrote down.anytime u want to chat(just normal chat or questions)just hit me up.this is why i feel so at home in this religion everyone is so open and helpful instead of oh u would go to hell this would happen this would happen lol. |
| Posted by redtigerlotus on 2010-03-22 11:55:54 |
| my email is stevie_golden88@yahoo.com.thank you lily you are very kind and i got ur email wrote down.anytime u want to chat(just normal chat or questions)just hit me up.this is why i feel so at home in this religion everyone is so open and helpful instead of oh u would go to hell this would happen this would happen lol. |
| Posted by Raito9 on 2010-03-22 14:46:23 |
| Hey, Just some useful advice, NEVER EVER give your email out online in a public place where ANYONE can read it. If someone asks, and you trust them enouigh, message them privately. BUt anyone, even non members here, can now look at your email address. Just some words of wisdom. It's a hassle if someone you don't want gets your email. |
| Posted by redtigerlotus on 2010-03-22 17:54:08 |
| thanks for heads up |
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