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whats YOUR control drama?
Posted by AlmostWitch137 on 2010-07-05 23:19:38 |
| taken from The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield EVERYBODY has a control drama. your delusional if you think your above it. everybody has one. but only when we recognize and become consciously aware of our control dramas, can we rise above them. whats YOUR control drama? comment with your response if you dare! "we must face up to our particular way of controlling others. remember, the Fourth Insight reveals that humans have always felt short of energy and have sought to control each other to aquuire the energy that flows between people. the Fifth then shows us that an alternative source exists, but we can't really stay connected with this source until we come to grips with the particular method that, we, as individuals, use in our controlling, and stop doing it - because whenever we fall back into this habit, we get disconnected from the source" "getting rid of this habit isnt easy because its always unconscious at first. the key to letting it go is to bring it fully into consciousness, and we do that by seeing that our particular style of controlling others is one we learned in childhood to get attention, to get the energy moving our way, and we're stuck there. this style is something we repeat over and over again. I call it our unconscious CONTROL DRAMA" (pg 121) "anyones drama can be examined,...according to where it falls in the spectrum from agressive to passive" "Intimidator, interrogator, aloof, and poor me" (those are the 4 control dramas) (pg. 129) INTIMIDATOR: "for instance, if someone threatens you, either verbally or physically, then you are forced, for fear of something bad happening to you, to pay attention to him and so to give him energy, the person threatening you would be pulling you into the most aggressive kind of drama, what the Sixth Insight calls the intimidator" (pg. 128) INTERROGATOR: people who use this means of gaining energy, set up a drama of asking questions and probing into another person's world with the specific purpose of finding something wrong. once they do, then they criticize this aspect of the other's life. if this stratedgy succeeds then the person being criticized is pulled into the drama. they suddenly find themselves becoming self-conscious around the interrogator and paying attention to what the interrogator is doing and thinking about, so as not to do something wrong that the interrogator would notice. this psychic deference gives the interrogator the energy he desires" (pg. 128) ALOOF: "your way of controlling people and situations,...in order to get energy coming your way, is to create this drama in your mind during which you withdraw and look mysterious and secretive. you tell yourself that you're being cautious but what you're really doing is hoping someone will be puled into this drama and will try to figure out whats going on with you. when someone does, you remain vague, forcing them to struggle and dig and try to descern your true feelings. and so, they give you their full at tention tand that sends their energy to you. the longer you can keep them interested and mystified, the more energy you recieve." (pg. 126) POOR ME: "if, on the other hand, someone tells you all the horrible things that are already happening to them, implying perhaps that you are responsible, and that, if you refuse to help, these horrible things are going to continue, then this person is seeking to control at the most passivel evel, with what the Manuscrpt calls a poor me drama. havent you ever been around someone who makes you feel guilty when your in their presence, even though you know there is no reason to feel this way...." "well its because you ahve entered the drama world of a poor me. everything they say and do putsy ou in a pace where you have to defend against the idea that you're not doing enough for this person, thats why you feel guilty just being around them" (pg. 129) "each of us must go back into our past, back into our early family life, and see how this habit was formed. seeing its inception keeps our way of controlling in consciousness. remember, most of our family members were operating in a drama themselves, trying to pull energy out of us as children. ths is why we had to form a control drama in the first place. we had to have a st rategy to win energy back. it is always in relation to our family members that we develop our particular dramas. however, once we recognize the energy dynamics in our families, we can go bast these control strategies and see what is really happening." (pg. 127) ALOOF CREATES INTERROGATORS: "what would you do if you were a child and your family members were either not there, or ignored you because they were preoccupied with their careers or something?" [aloof parent(s)] "playing aloof would not get their attentionl they wouldnt notice. wouldnt you have to resort to probing and prying and finally finding something wrong in these aloof people in order to force attention and energy? this is what an interrogator does" (pg. 130) INTERROGATORS CREATE ALOOF: (a conversation between two characters) "...tell me about your father" "he is a good man who is fun-loving and capable but....well he was always critical. i could never do anythign right." "how did he criticize you?" "he asked questions, then found something wrong with the answers." "and what happened to your energy?" "i guess i felt drained so i tried to keep from telling him anything." "you mean you got vague and distant, trying to say things in a way that would get his attention but not reveal enough to give him something to criticize. he was the interrogator and you dodged around him with your aloof-ness" (pg. 127) INTIMIDATORS CREATE POOR ME:"if you are a child and someone is draining your energy by threatening you with bodily harm then being aloof doesn't work. you cant get them to give you energy by playing coy. they dont give a damn whats going on inside you. they're coming on too strong. so you're forced to become more passive and to try the poor me approach, appealing to the mercy of hte person, guilt tripping them about the harm they are doing....." INTIMIDATORS ALSO CREATE INTIMIDATORS: "....if this doesn't work, then, as a child you endure until you are big enough to explode against the voilence and fight aggression with aggression." |
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